Rock-Boring-Nuke-Hunters

by Jonah Goldberg

Okay, in the grand spirit of airborne-laser-volcano-lancing, I would like to ask why we don’t have really cool underground drilling vehicles — a la Journey to the Center of the Earth or (for younger readers) the third Matrix movie. We’re currently researching ground penetrating nuclear weapons because our enemies have learned to bury their nuclear facilities deep, deep underground. Well, why can’t we have a really cool drill-tipped winebago that can tunnel underground and come up right in the middle of the floor of the nuke labs? Special armored tanks and troop carriers could follow behind.

I suspect the answer is quite simple. Rocks are too hard. But I think this is a cop-out for such a can-do people.

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